Sandhya: But M"am it is not about burns or anything, our request letter does not even mention that. It is about exploring normative ideas of beauty and how they socially exclude people who are visually different.
Principal: Haan tho research karo na, yeh achee baat hai. Clean & Clear waaley aaye they research karne aur humarey college mein 90% ladkiyaan Fair & Lovely lagatey hai. Kya karen. Tum aakay baat karo Sandhya lekin ussay yahan math lana. (Sure come and do research, that's a good thing. Clean & Clear conducted a research and found out that 90% of our girls use fair & Lovely. That's how it is what to do. You are most welcome to come and talk to our students Sandhya, but don't get her). I don't want her in my premises.
I was stunned when Sandhya lamented what transpired between her and the principal. It came as a shock for us as we both had met the respective head of departments about our project (in staff room of the college) and they were more than happy for us to come and interact with the students. We were overwhelmed by their response as within a few minutes we had other department teachers also wanting to be part of the conversation. We got such a positive response that the HOD fixed a timing and a date for us to come and interact with their students. Writing the letter to the principal was but a mere formality!
My immediate reaction to the refusal was of pain and anger at the insensitivity of how the rejection was handled, that too from a Principal of an educational institution!!
It is discouraging to know that the college Principal (a lady at that, whom I would have expected to be more considerate and understanding) who has the power to influence young minds can be so regressive.
Hmmm, it is quite a plight to know this type of a reactive response from the HEAD of an educational institute. Only immature people react like that. Wonder what and how would she be teaching her students!
ReplyDeleteAmruta, It was an unexpected response and the tone with which she spoke was pretty strong. It only goes to prove that being highly educated does not necessarily mean that the person is evolved and not prejudiced. It just confirms that the discrimination exists based on mere physical appearances and quite a blatant existence which most people with altered bodies accept as their fate!!
ReplyDeleteHow Rude?? She don't deserve to be the Head of an Educational Institute but a mere representative of fair & lovely.
ReplyDeleteI am lost for words right now Shirin. But with some thought put in to this. You need to meet her yourself. This should even give you the drive to pursue this. But, as I write but, perhaps put this one college aside for now and pursue others. As the word passes on about who you are and what your mission is about. This Principal...person will come begging to you to speak at her college. Keep the faith, Keep your perspective in check and keep moving on foward. Okay. Respond with kindness and wisdom always.
ReplyDeleteI think that principal, and scores of others like her, need the awareness that you've ventured out to do... Tolerance or acceptance wasn't what you were looking for had missed her completely...
ReplyDeleteI think you need to make a different approach to these kinds of people.
Keep on working, Brave... These are but small pebbles on your way to the summit...
This is really insane!!!I really can´t accept such a reaction. I was thinking on the lines of what action can you take? Because I am sure admissions to the school/college also depend on such preposterous ideas!!she didnt say anything in written! so legally there is no option! but may be if there is help from the media...she can at least be scared!! or if you could go and and meet her personally and confront her! I am really lost at what should be done...one cannot just listen and wait for a change in her reaction.
ReplyDeleteI can understand you but leave them , the Beauty is within . I know so many Beautiful people who are just ugly and really bad from within - the words they speak , their thoughts etc .
ReplyDeleteLook beyond this and keep on doing wonderful tings and be good human being .
Of course education is no factor of maturity. Yet there is hope for the principal as her reaction was due to her own fears or maybe fear of the unknown. We fear things that are "different" from us and unfamiliar to us. Many don't realize fears & prejudices are learned behaviors that are perpetuated by our lack of learning about the unknown.
ReplyDeleteTry to speak with the principal directly and see how that goes. There is a reason why her response was negative, you may be able to identify that reason and address it! If all else fails, do something off premises if possible.
Your message is Positive. There is a Positive response from the department heads. Whether you add, subtract, multiply or divide a positive... the result (sum, difference, product, or quotient) is always Positive! A positive outcome is eminent!
Hats off to what you are doing. Since you mention Open Space on your blog, I am wondering if you are based in Pune. I would love to forward your contact details to my alma mater - the Communication Studies department in the University of Pune to have you over for a lecture. I came here via http://blogs.rnw.nl/southasiawired/2011/08/30/an-open-letter-about-beauty-and-ugliness/
ReplyDeleteHi Shirin,
ReplyDeleteI'm really horrified to read the transcript of the conversation between Sandhya and the principal. From what I can see online there is a lot of support for you. Are you doing something about this? People need to know that such shameful comments have consequences.
Not to mention that her college, her students and her staff deserve much better.
dear it is the insensitivity a individual has it within.....don't look it as...a women was insensitive or a head of an educational institution.....and it is how a individual perceives it from their experience....we all to have gained sensitivity after few experiences in life...it might be different for each one though....so leave it....and of course she is just one among the 1.2 billion...go ahead...you are left with billion more to reach up
ReplyDeleteto :)
More power to you sweetie. Really appreciate and admire what you are trying to do . this life is cruel and outrageous and terrible. But it is also beautiful and i hope you encounter more postivity as you go along.
ReplyDeletePeople who scorn and scoff at others with such (or any other) shortcomings should infact be thankful to whoever they believe in (e.g.: God) that they have been spared by misadventures of life.
ReplyDeletePlease don't take anything like this seriously. There are many negative people around and you need to avoid them as you have been doing. You are doing great and please continue the same. I sincerely wish God gives you a wonderful company and soulmates so that you have a wonderful life ahead!
ReplyDeletehi an article on you in Times Of India(5th september 2011) caught my attention and I googled you and your experiences.Really Kudos to you....Instead of girls becoming negative of marriage by knowing you(as the Principal quoted), I think they will get motivated by you as in how to face the world and life even after having suffered on the hands of brutal fate...I really respect people like you
ReplyDeleteIt is truly saddening that this principle, a teacher of children, has allowed fear and hate to erode her Spirit so badly that she can no longer behold beauty when it stands before her. Truly, she must feel such self-loathing to act in this way toward another human. For her, I feel pity.
ReplyDeleteFor you, I feel respect, admiration, and the greatest empathy. From my wheelchair, I often ask the questions you are addressing here with immense courage and Love. Thank You for working to tear down the walls we are taught as children to build around each other; barriers based upon appearance, ability, and anything that makes us different. We should be celebrating those differences, rather than allowing them to divide us.
It is a pleasure to have found your journal. I am looking forward to reading more of your extraordinary journey to enlighten those who cannot see beyond our scars and our challenges to the beautiful human beings we are.
Most Sincerely,
DC
All i can say is we as humans can't accept such ruthless people in our society. i m really stunned to hear about this. Being a woman she couldn't consider this situation..shes so unfortunate.
ReplyDeleteThat woman is unfit to head an educational institution and I am surprised that this hasnt got more attention. And importantly, why this college principal hasnt lost her job yet. I hope that you will not keep her identity anonymous, you arent obligated to protect it, and if she chooses to use such an opinion to influence her decisions as head of institution, she should be prepared to defend them in public.
ReplyDeleteHi Shirin
ReplyDeleteMy name is Siddhant Malhotra and I doing my Post Graduation in films from St. Xavier college, Mumbai.
I read your story in the Open Magazine and I was surprised to know the reactions people give and basically how society treats you vis-a-vis other so called "normal" looking women.
And it then inspired me to make a documentary ( which is also our college project) on you and include the concept of beauty and how the concept of beauty changes from time to time and how society treats beauty and ugliness.
I would be glad and really grateful of you, if you could be a part of this project and help me in enlightening people around us more on this concept, because I think it is high time we deal with this, because this really deserves a voice.
Since, I had no other way to get in touch with you, so hence I am posting it here. Hope to receive a feedback soon. You can reach to me on my email - malsid@gmail.com and we could discuss about how to go about doing this in detail.
Thank you very much.
Siddhant :)